A delightful transformation into a space of peace, safety and accessibility, this is my home artist studio. My studio was moved in its entirety to a completely different floor in our house by my husband also an artist who carried each piece upstairs for me. That peaceful room once my childhood bedroom overlooking the English garden where I derive endless inspiration for paintings.

Living with chronic illness and disability I need a peaceful place with much quiet and free from interruptions. A place where everything is accessible, supplies organized and a space that has adequate resting spots with comfort for offloading my limbs during my pacing rests. Being an immune compromised artist living with disability, along with the pandemic began a strictly quarantined lifestyle of housebound living. However, artists are often peacefully isolated inside the doors of their studios.
In my studio, I paint small contemporary abstract paintings using vivid and vibrant colours on small birch panels inspired by the colour in my English garden planted by my late parents. The garden now is tended to by my husband while I sit and observe peacefully. My new series COSMOS PINK was inspired by the hand planted wild flower seed last summer in my garden during the early days of the pandemic. I waited with anticipation to see the colours and flowers creep up tall to the sky. The peace found in my garden mimics the peace I need inside of myself living with chronic illness and disability to find joy in my days. Joy that is found when I am immersed in my paintings up in my studio. There is a pause button for peace in my studio where there is only my paints and brushes in a space of time and sometimes there is a surprise guest appearance of my friendly bull terriers. Everything else just happens, intuitively.
During the time of the first wave of the pandemic I was modifying my process to support my disability. Lot’s of change for this Toronto artist, for a time during the early days of my recovery my motto was ‘Be the Change’. However, I accept challenges something one must learn to live with chronic illnesses like Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, Fibromyalgia and disability. I need to order all of my supplies through online orders from small businesses like Gwartzmans and Wallacks. Everything is shipped to my house which is also my studio, heavily disinfected in the garage by my husband which he then brings to my studio. As an artist, I depend on my art supply deliveries. Setting up an accessible new studio and modifying my art process requires great art suppliers. I have required many new supplies and tools to support my modification process and it certainly has been a process.
One of my favourite things to do in life was to go downtown often on the TTC to the art stores. This is no longer accessible for me and more importantly unsafe. Due to my chronic illness I am not able to take the flu shot or the Covid-19 vaccine. My joy now comes from Brandon bringing my supplies to my studio after disinfecting them. I love hearing the front door close behind Brandon and hearing him take the steps upstairs to my studio and then seeing the art supplies fanned out as he unpacks them on my art table. Living with disability there are things you don’t have ability for that you once had much joy doing before the onset of chronic illness, this is one of them.
The set up of my studio is integrally important to my success as an artist living with disability. I liken it to the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. My art table, computer chair and sofa with pillows need to be ‘just right’. I require super easy accessibility always no exceptions, with no heavy lifting, bending, or frequent moving as too much of any movement can cause extreme pain and suffering.
My art table is where the magic happens, the abracadabra ziggity zam of my paintings and it is always set up ready with papers, panels and paints, brushes and water ready to paint. My husband Brandon sands all my panels for me so I have several within reach ready to paint on. My markers and pens are all in handy vessels near any spot where I may find myself sitting and in need of a writing tool. All my papers, pads, binders and books of regular use are at hip level easy to grab without bending or reaching. All my supplies on surfaces are within an easy arms reach from a sitting position, but not too far a stretch as it will also cause muscle fatigue with severe pain as well as a few days of suffering known as PEM. Nothing is inside of hard to open containers, everything is ready to use with ease. I write Jane’s Blog from the studio space so it doubles a writing space when I am unable to paint. This is what an accessible studio looks like for an artist living with disability.
Rests throughout my day which is referred to as pacing are a requirement and have become my new BFF, as well as a variety of treatments to support my chronic pain. I always need sitting spots everywhere and always. My studio sofa aptly named, ‘the Jane sofa’ is one of my most used places for rest. For real this is no joke the sofa named by Gus Modern is aptly named “The Jane”. There is some competition for spots on the sofa, Fionny loves an afternoon nap in the peace of my studio. I require sitting as my most used position, sometimes with my legs up depending on the day and treatment needs. My disability prevents me from standing for any normal amount of time as it requires too much energy, limiting my standing to only minimal minutes within an umbrella of five minutes of time. It is good for me that artists sit often, hooray for me.
It is true my studio requires much more comfort and frills than a raw loft space in the depths of downtown Toronto, with squared pained windows, tall paint splattered walls, old creaky wide board floors. I won’t know this experience in my lifetime, that old dream has been laid to rest. As an artist living with disability there is so much that comes before just being able to paint and this is why I needed to create a peaceful studio space to support my success as an artist. Always making place a for peace in my life, whatever it takes.
Blog no. 10
About the Blogger
Jane Louise Holden

On Jane’s Blog, I authentically write about real life experiences with loss, suffering and acceptance as woman artist living with disability. There are times while in my studio I step away from my colourful abstract paintings and turn towards the rhyme and rhythm of words. My garden often inspires written words in the same way it fuels the colour in my paintings, words come to me connecting with thoughts as I sit in quiet peace with my garden. Writing like painting is my voice and venue for expression.

I sit to paint too – there isn’t enough head room in my attic studio!!
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I would think it is charming in the attic fellowing sitting artist.
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I hit my head on the eaves quite often!!
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