With overwhelmingly hot summer days coming to an end and signs of cool autumn breezes in the air, I have spent valuable time in quiet deep reflection. Filled with inspiration from colour, my garden, sunlight and the natural world, I always appreciate the simplicity of the natural world of which I am ever grateful. It has been awhile since I wrote a blog as I have been adapting my dialogue, just as I continuously modify my lifestyle to meet the needs of my body and mind alike. Life for me constantly reflects my lifestyle.
My body only has energy for one focus in life and that is expressing myself through colours and paint in my art. Therefore, my blogging must flow with my energy and art. In my blog, I will be writing accounts of my art and life with disability as an artist. This matches my peaceful lifestyle I have created to support my ongoing bodily needs as well as my connection to the world express through my art.
The summer of 2021 has provided me with endless inspiration, I am filled to the brim with creative flow like a big frothy latte with cinnamon on top. Brandon and I designed the first layer of our garden to accompany my parents established flowers and plants. The heavy work being sourced out now as Brandon has much on his plate daily as a professional artist, cooking 3 meals from scratch a day and cleaning our home and of course my full time caregiver. We hired an old neighbourhood friend in the landscaping business who sourced our trees, plants and flowers for us and took care of the heavy work of planting. The textures, colours, blossoms have all provided me with endless moments of quiet inspiration.
Which leads me to a concept I have been ruminating on for months, acceptance. It came to me in the summer that so many people who are stuck and living with my conditions and disability have not accepted who they are. I believe that it is my acceptance of my disability that allows me to work with it, honour limitations and listen to my body at all times. I spent most of August in pacing in a low resting place, not accomplishing physical tasks but spending much time in my mind with rest.
It is in these moments of rest creative flow happens for me, coming to me like a tap turned on. My bodily energy system is broken and illusive. By minding my bodily energy like a big hot pink balloon that is filled with energy air, I can stabilize my broken body. Most people have 10 balloons for a day of life, people like me have 1 or 2. This balloon of energy can empty at anytime with no warning at all so every moment and movement much be chosen well and with thought. I have been on rest filling my hot pink balloon which takes much more time than one could ever imagine. I use this time of rest to think on, strategize and plan for my next steps with my art. For the day that I am ready to step into my studio once again.
All ready for a day like today when my hot pink balloon is as full as it ever gets. And my studio has called me to it and absorbed me, time has stood still, and the chronic pain has lessoned as the creative energy took over my body. New ideas have filled me with creative excitement and I have worked through processes, ordered supplies, set up new work stations and re organized my studio. I have new paintings to paint, a new 5×5 sketchbook to draw out concepts, a super fun paper study that I will be launching soon. With my studio ready today I began to create with immediacy yet pacing as always, all of my new ideas flowing out of mind and onto paper. A delightfully rewarding day it has been.
Follow me on Instagram to see what I am up to this fall in my studio. For some fun I have added Highlights, in Garden Pix I pick photos to share with you from my garden. Come visit my page.
Jane Holden - Art exploring elusive realities. 